by Gwen McMath
Every year at Christmas, my family and I go through the same process. Because of the fact that we lost my husband and the rest of the family’s father in December six years ago, and we lost my daughter, Vanessa a few years before that, our first thoughts about Christmas are for self-preservation. How do we get through the holidays with the least amount of pain and sorrow? Most Christmases we go on a trip as a family or change our Christmas routine somewhat so it will not be like it was when they were alive. We have found that nostalgic Christmases just magnify the fact that they are gone and makes us sadder still. Granted, we are all doing well with our grief but we all feel it is unhealthy to dwell on the things that are sad. Christmas is supposed to be the holiday to end all holidays in its perfection for the family. Our commercial advertisements squeeze every once of nostalgia out of people in order to get us to purchase things to replicate our happiness of Christmases past. Christmas Songs like “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” I’ll Be Home For Christmas” and Elvis’ “It Will Be a Blue Christmas Without You,” although meaningful in context, can bring your emotions way far down in no time. Commercials that show the perfect family Christmas dinners, Christmas homes with a twinkling tree inside and snow all around, little children opening presents during happier times can add to our depression.
We can’t depend on the world ‘s perspectives on things for truth, but we can depend on God’s. The sweet perspective he gave me for Christmas this year is worth sharing and I would like to share it with you.
I make it a point never to say anything about December 21 as being my husband’s day of death, but, of course, it is never a joyous occasion, although I am joyous he is in heaven. I think because Jesus always provides for the widows, that if we look for his comfort, he always gives it as it says in James 1:27—“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted from the world.” During the month of December I was asked to teach a Sunday School Class to adults. I found a wonderful book about Advent and was using it to teach the class and it helped me immensely to study it and to share it with others. The particular class I was teaching was older people and I had already noticed how connected they were, and how they helped each other out continually. There was a lady in the class whose husband had been very ill and the wife was the main caretaker. The couple had been helped by the class financially.
The third time I came into the class to teach was the anniversary of the day Charley, my husband, died. I think it is interesting that the name of my lesson was “The Magi’s Journey from Disappointment to True Treasure.” I had gotten in late the night before from a wonderful trip to California with my family, and was reminding myself not to volunteer to teach in the future a day after a long trip! I got started on my teaching, when the couple came in to Sunday School. The wife was pushing her husband in a wheelchair, and even though it was obvious that the man had been very sick by the way his clothes just hung on his body, he had a chipper look on his face as he greeted all of his friends. Everyone greeted them with such love! Then, hidden away in his wheelchair, the wife began to take out plates of cookies and treats as a thank you for the financial assistance. It was a beautiful scene that I was privileged to witness. As I looked around the room at all the smiles, I could see another man smiling on even though attached to his leg was a catheter bag (I knew what it was because Charley had to wear one for a short time after a surgery). He would probably be embarrassed if he knew I had recognized it, but it was amazing to me that he had his own physical problems yet he was so delighted his friend was better. He was also a widower. I had come into this class to teach these people, but they had taught me. Jesus whispered to me at that moment, “See Gwen, it’s still Christmas, here it is in front of you.”
Still reeling from the beautiful scene in the Sunday School and the whisper from my Master, I went into church where I had to read the Scripture of the day out loud to the church. Again, no one knew what day it was for me. After I had read the passage and sat down, my pastor stopped the service and said a few things about me that were very loving and accepting. I, of course, was blessed by everything he said when I heard Jesus whisper again, “Here’s another Christmas present for you Gwen, Christmas is still here.”
That afternoon after I had returned from church, I heard a knock at the door, and there was one of my best friends who co-teaches with me at my Bible Study. She didn’t know what day it was for me either, she was just bringing me a Christmas gift, but it made my day. Again Jesus whispered, “I have not forgotten you on this day Gwen. Here is another gift for you because it is still Christmas.”
Later on in the day as it began to get dark I began to thank the Lord for getting me through the day so wonderfully. All of the sudden I began to hear singing. I looked out the window and thought to myself, “Carolers, how nice.” The doorbell rang and I opened it to see one of my sweet friends from my Bible Study group. She said, “Gwen, my family is here vacationing and we are here to sing Christmas carols to you. She didn’t know what day it was for me either but Jesus did. She took me out to her family and lovingly introduced me to all of them as her Bible Study teacher. I stood there on the street with the Christmas lights twinkling all around me with tears of joy rolling down my cheeks. Jesus was sent to earth to comfort those in need and heal the broken hearted. He had blessed me so much that day, he had really given me a peace that passes understanding. And best of all, Christmas can still take place in our hearts, no matter what the circumstances in our lives. I had learned my lesson which was Gwen’s Journey From Disappointment to True Treasure.
If you enjoyed this story be sure to read my Christmas story from last year entitled “The Gift.”
The book I referenced in the story is entitled “Five Questions of Christmas” by Rob Burkhart.