by Gwen McMath
Most little girls adore their Fathers. Of all the pet names that a female can achieve I suppose that “Daddy’s Girl” has got to be on the top of the list. However, I can never remember growing up adoring my Father or being referred to as “Daddy’s Girl.” I imagine that a lot of women would feel cheated over this, but knowing my Father as I did, and by describing him a little better, I think you will understand why it didn’t bother me to not have that endearing name.
Daddy grew up deep in East Texas in the country outside of Athens, Texas. He was born on February 23, 1915 in Rome, Texas to Burl and Iona Pierce Trammell. He came from a simple farming family and had many brothers, sisters, and other family relatives. He was brought up on hard farm work, and was a very good-looking man with an athletic build from working outside all of the time. He had black wavy hair, was somewhat shy, and his occasional smile was worth the wait. Though he loved his own family dearly, his family never wasted time with many words of encouragement or endearment and here lies the basis of why he was never able to tell you how he felt, or thought you needed to be told of his affections for you.
In order to adore someone you really have to be able to show and receive affection. As a young child growing up I knew my Daddy loved me, but he never was able to be affectionate or demonstrative with his love. I didn’t know at the time that he was like this with everyone, not just me. When I grew up and married I began to be able to read him better. I became a Christian about the same time and began to see what it was like to receive love from a heavenly Father who could give me unconditional love and acceptance. I began to realize my Father was giving me all that he could considering how he was brought up. It was during this time I began accepting him how he was and how I enjoyed him! I realized that his saying something was “pretty good” was the ultimate compliment for him and that his gruff manner had nothing to do with me, he was gruff with everyone at times. We had many years of enjoying life together. Though I never heard many compliments from him there were many things about him that other daughters would envy. He got up and went to work everyday and came home every night. He went to church every Sunday and gave a portion of his salary to the church on a regular basis. He was a good role model for taking care of and visiting his many friends and relatives and never quit visiting them until they graduated to the cemetery. My children always thought he went to funerals for fun because he and my Mother went to so many as they got older. He watched me raise my children (got satisfaction out of seeing them cause me problems like I had caused him). He saw me turn into a Christian woman with many talents, and all along he said “pretty good.” I watched him loving his life of gardening (after he retired), reaching out to his family and friends in his gruff way, and then he began to lose ground physically.
As his health began to deteriorate, our relationship began to change again. Slowly we began a role reversal, I becoming the parent and he becoming the child. His manner and demeanor had not changed; he was just as gruff as ever. But in his relinquishment of himself to me and my caring for him came the acceptance I had always yearned for. I was fortunate to be in the hospital with him on his last day of life which was November 26, 2001. He had been sick for a long time with heart problems. He was in a coma and my mother and I were there with him waiting. His breathing became shallow and I knew his departure was imminent. I was able to say, “Goodbye, Daddy, I love you.” He had given me the gift of escorting him into the next life. I adored him for that. I guess I really was a “Daddy’s Girl” after all.
Actually, the story doesn’t really end here. The circle of life continues. Now there is a thirteen year old great nephew who looks remarkably like my Daddy and I fully expect him to grow up to honor his Great-Granddaddy’s life. And what of my Daddy? He has changed roles again—now he is in heaven being the Papaw to my darling Daughter Vanessa until I come to join them there. And thus continues the circle of life.